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The Cockroach

So based on the title, y'all know this is going to be about a creepy, crawly, insect that everybody hates (except for maybe entomologists). I love my small little critters, and think they're quite fascinating, but the blattodea family has always given me the creeps if I meet them free-ranging in my own house. The small little guys gross me out but if they escape, my brain just automatically assumes that they have vanished from my house. The big guys however... They. Must. Die.

So last night Im getting ready for bed in the bathroom. Im about to wash my face when I look onto my shelf and notice something that resembles a black hair sticking up and waving about behind some of my things. I change my view and notice that its the antennae of a large cockroach. This sucker was probably 2 inches long (not including antennae). Immediately I yell "eeeahhh! Help!" I run to the bedroom where Ty looks up at me with raised eyebrows from behind his iPad with a look on his face like "this better be important cause I dont want to get up"

I say "Ty, Theres a cockroaccchhhh... I can't kill it, you have to kill it!!"
He gives me the look again for a second, not moving when I say "come ooooonnn, hurry!"
Im usually pretty manly, unless it comes to cockroaches and then I turn into a little girl...
So he slowly gets up and looks at the roach and doest do anything.
I stand on the counter to get a better view and say "Get it, Get it!!"
He looks up, laughs at my hysterics then tries to squish it using some of my products that are on the shelf already. It doesn't work and he looses sight of the monster.

I say "Ty, You HAVE to find it!" Again he is laughing at me when he says, "I think it went in the hole there. I can't get it." Just when i start to think that the bugger has escaped and will come back to lay its babies in my toiletries, Ty spots it and with a quick grab, has him squished in a napkin. He goes to through the guy outside and when he comes back I bow at Ty, "My Hero!" I laugh.

On the way to work the other day, Ty mentioned that Im the weirdest person he knows and Im pretty proud of that statement. Id like to thank my parents for raising me, Jenna Marbles for introducing me to more ways of trolling, and my friends and family for hanging out with me even though I do some weird shit. Y'all are the best!


Comments

  1. I like the Jenna Marbles shout out. I contribute all of my trolling behaviours toward her. Also, thats exactly how I handle cockroaches here, must be related or something ;)

    ReplyDelete

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