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Guatemala: Empty Endings

7:35am

Im sitting next to a tree trunk in my tree house, looking at an amazing view of Antigua below, mountains and volcanoes surrounding. So lush and green. I didnt sleep very well because the light from the city shone so bright into where my bed was in the top portion of the tree house, where my bed is but it was ok. I miss the Yoga Forest and my friends from there.



Yesterday we got to Antigua and had to say goodbye to another woman who had to get to the airport for her flight. The rest of us had some time to explore Antigua for a bit. First, We went to this awesome Mayan textile store that our retreat leader told us about. There were so many beautiful things! Thats where I bought an awesome tie for my Ty, haha. 

Then it was time for lunch. We ate at some place that was close and convenient. The food was alright but the company was better :)
After lunch we had to say goodbye to another woman from our group. I walked her to her shuttle so she wouldn't get lost because Ive got mad internal map skills! 

It started to feel weird with less of us. Sort of like parts of us were being disconnected and we were now missing part of a whole. Each time saying goodbye was like saying goodbye to a little piece of my heart as each woman took it with her. 

I was the next part of the puzzle to leave; my shuttle up to Earth Lodge was soon. Two of the woman had already spent time in Antigua so they were able to show me exactly where I needed to go. It was comforting to have them with me in this new place.

We walked by this little Irish bar where we heard Engligh being spoken and saw an adorable husky pup hanging out.  They tried to get us to come in and have a beer and hooked us for only a few minutes by letting us give some love to the pup. She was SO cute!

After I called for the shuttle and went for coffee, we came back a little early and I almost missed the shuttle! It was driving away when I turned the corner and the women in the shop told me that was my bus! My girls told me to run after it and I flagged it down with my awkward, erratic movements (Its hard to run with a backpack and duffel) and my minimal spanish. I had to say goodbye quickly before I was rushed into the shuttle and drove off. In that moment, I felt insanely alone. As we drove down the street, I saw my friends walking away and watched them for as long as I could before the van took me away on the bouncy brink roads. After being surrounded by such strong, beautiful, friendly women, it felt so strange to be alone. So empty.

I had to remind myself that the adventure was not over. Earth Lodge was a short 20 minute drive up the mountain from Antigua. It wasn't as switchback-y as leaving San Marcos was, but once we got off the main road onto the dirt road, it was severely narrow and a steep drop on one side. I was grateful that I wasn't afraid of heights but it was still a bit nerve-racking being so close to the edge. The driver was expert at this drive however and Everyone made it there safely. 

I walked down the steep walk with someone who worked at the Lodge. We started our conversation in Spanish and I felt I held my own. But when I started asking for sentences repeated, to think of what was said, the gentleman switched to english so my brain wouldn't have to work as hard. 

It was nice meeting up with my friend from college at the Lodge. The place is beautiful and there was an amazing sunset last night but somehow it doesn't compare to the tranquility of the Yoga Forest. Plus, I dont know how they do it there, but their beds are so, so, SO comfortable that I fell asleep instantly. Some kind of magic, Im sure.

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